No Worries, Mate! Part 2

6 Feb 2007 – Melbourne bound; myself, Carol, her brother Robbie, his girlfriend Clare, and friend Hayley.

We touched down at the cow-shed that was Avalon Airport (and I thought Derry Airport was small!) to find that Melbourne, being further south of Sydney, was a tad bit chillier than the Aussie capital, and a damn sight windier! Headed into the city, discovering that it was also a great deal quieter than where we had spent the previous few days.

Found our hostel, which gave Carol and I our first glimpse of just how geared towards backpackers this country is: my previous experience of hostels had been small desks in small receptions, maybe a teeny room where someone produced endless toast and vats of tea for breakfast, and some rather cramped dorms. This one had a kitchen area about 4 times the size of my apartment (with proper cooking facilities), two big lounges with big screen TVs and comfy cushions and bean bags strewn everywhere, a pool table, computers, drinks for sale at the spacious reception, 9 floors of rooms, and a bar. This idea of Oz as being uberly backpacker-friendly would only be reinforced as the trip went on.

Anyhoo, we arrived during the evening, so all we did was grab some dinner and head to an Irish pub – but of course! It was a nice place, with a good atmosphere, a great singer on stage, and a bunch of Northerners sitting at the table next to us! You just can’t get away from the Irish.

Melbourne is known for being a shopping town, so that’s what we spent a lot of the next day doing. We were planning top drive the Great Ocean Road the following day, so we decided to hire a car – between five of us, it worked out cheaper than many of the tours, as well as being more comfortable and giving us the option of stopping when and where we wanted to. The night before this drive, however, we were headed to Philip Island, which is about 2 hours out of Melbourne, to see the Penguin Parade.

Penguins? In Australia? Yup, that’s what I said! Since we were further south still, we were warned that we should take something warm…but stupid us had gone to Melbourne with nothing more than T-shirts! So a panic buy of jumpers all round ensued, we hopped in our newly hired bus (a 7-seater) and off we went.

The Penguin Parade is when hundreds of Little Penguins (that’s actually the proper name of this type of penguin) have to make the trip from the sea to the sand dunes, where their nests are, at dusk. It’s “the most stressful part of their day” (according to the commentator), since the Little Penguins have many predators…they are only a foot tall, after all. So getting across the beach is like running the gauntlet for them. Visitors sit and watch them making their way up – and they come in groups, making a dash for it, or retreating back to the sea if it seems too dangerous. Nearly a thousand were crossing the beach when we were there. Once most of the penguins are safely in the dunes, visitors can dander around and see them closer, from the safety of the boardwalk (safety of the penguins from humans, not vice versa!). Their mates stand by their nests and call to each other, and you can see them welcoming each other home; or if they get tired, they just stop and rest for a little while. They are tiny and they are adorable. You just want to pick one up and take it home! But the rangers frown upon that sort of thing.

Flash photography would scare the little creatures, so the only photos we have from the night are of some of us being mauled by a giant (fake) koala, and this classics, ultra-touristy purchased snap…but it’s ace!



The next day we were up early and on the road. One of the world’s top ten road trips and one of the top 20 journeys of a lifetime, the Great Ocean Road stretches 200km (125 miles) from Torquay, southwest of Melbourne, to Port Fairy, to the west. Since returning home, I’ve learned that this is in fact the world’s largest war memorial, as it was built after World War I by returned servicemen in honour of those who died.

Our first stop was world-famous Bells Beach – famous for surfing. I don’t know much about surfing, but I do know a lot about that classic 90s Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze film Point Break, which finishes on this very beach.* The swells here apparently get pretty strong, and produce some of the biggest waves in the world…apparently.

We moved on from here to Airey’s Inlet, with so many beautiful little beaches, hideaways in the dunes, and the impressive Split Point Lighthouse (I should write their travel brochures!) This is such an isolated and peaceful area; admittedly, we were there on a weekday, and kids were back at school, but this is the sort of place that you can imagine would always be secluded. Idyllic little houses and cafes, not built-up at all. And what struck us here was the colour of the water – that crystal clear blue-green colour that you always see on postcards, and in travel mags, and rarely see yourself.



Reluctantly leaving Airey’s Inlet, we moved further up the road. The views are just spectacular, and we got very lucky with the weather. The days before and after were a little dull, and chilly, and when we set off on that Thursday morning, it still looked cloudy. But the clouds parted and we were greeted by clear blue skies.

The obligatory photo under the Great Ocean Road gate was taken. Thankfully the road wasn’t too busy, and we only had to run out of the way of cars a few times!

We were headed for Apollo Bay, where we were going to stop and lie on the beach for a while, and find some lunch, so this part of the journey was a quiet appreciation of the views. (And we had the perfect music to go with it…the Beach Boys. Is there anything else more appropriate?!) So we were zooming along, humming to the Beach Boys, and I will admit that I was dozing slightly. We rounded a corner (one of the many along the road), and I wondered why there were so many people out of their cars. Half-asleep, I glanced up into the trees, to see…koalas!


Now, I know, I shouldn’t have been so surprised to see koalas. After all, it was Australia! But, to be honest, I hadn’t expected to see them in the wild. I though we would have to go to a zoo to see them. But, no, there they were, sitting in the trees, fast asleep. So we stopped for a bit, snapped some photos, discovered the place we were in was called Sausage Gully, and got back in the car, delighted at seeing some wild koalas.

We finally made it to Apollo Bay, and the girls hit the beach while Robbie (who was doing all the driving) had a kip. Now, you know me, you know I don’t deal well in the sun, so I never strip down to the bikini. Plus I don’t like the water. So I stayed on the beach and read while the other girls went for a refreshing dip. I only stayed out for about 20 minutes though, and with even just that amount of sun, I could feel myself burning. (Please bear in mind that all through this trip, I’m wearing factor 30 suncream!)

We decided to find lunch. And discovered that Apollo Bay is like Wales: you can’t get a proper meal before 6pm. It was just after 4pm, and there were lots of lovely restaurants, with delectable menus…but none open before 6. And we wanted proper food, not fish and chips or sandwiches. Although we did finally settle on a sandwich place, and discovered some of the nicest wraps this side of Mexico. So much so that Robbie and Hayley bought extras for later, just in case!

The reason we couldn’t just hang about Apollo Bay and wait for restaurants to open was that we had a little bit further to go, as well as getting back to Melbourne that night. We were trying to get to the Twelve Apostles by sunset.


The Twelve Apostles are giant rock stacks, left when the limestone cliffs were eroded. The tallest is about 45 metres (148 feet) high.
They are magnificent, especially at the time of evening we got there. We had time to wander around, drive up the road a bit, explore some more, and then come back, just in time for the sunset (well, ok, we caught the very end of it!)



The whole coastline is dotted with stunning features such as these, and it’s all so isolated. There are no big hotels or shopping centres, or anything that would take away from the natural beauty of it. And the tourist infrastructure that’s there – the visitor’s centre, the boardwalks, the information plaques – is all done in a way that fits in with the environment. It is a truly beautiful part of the world.

Just up the road from the Twelve Apostles themselves is Loch Ard Gorge, named after a ship that ran aground in the 19th century, and as well as a secluded and almost totally undeveloped cove, there are more of the giant rock stacks and arches. On the way back from here, Carol and I spotted a kangaroo on the side of the road – again surprised to be seeing Oz’s natural animal life in the wild!

I already sound like a tourist brochure! All I can recommend is that, if ever you get the chance, go see them yourself. Photos don’t do them justice.

It was time to head back, so we got back into our bus and set the bearings for Melbourne. Like the night before, we discovered that it’s difficult in rural parts of Oz to find somewhere for dinner after 9pm…so we had McDonald’s for the second night in a row! The most Maccy D’s I’ve eaten in a long time! (Considering I hadn’t eaten it for about 5 years!)

The next day was back to some serious shopping, this time on Melbourne’s most famous shopping street – Chapel Street. Carol and I found some unusual clothes and shoes, and for once, I bought more than she did!

That night, we headed to the Fitzroy area of the city: a very trendy area, with lots of quirky restaurants, bars and clubs. We met a friend of Clare’s, and a cousin of Carol’s and Robbie’s, and a former work-friend of Clare’s came also, all with their boyfriends, so we had a good crowd, and it was a mini family reunion for the Califfs! The bar we went to (Bimbo’s) had the most delicious pizzas, for next to nothing. By far the tastiest was a chocolate pizza, with a delightful crust, some Mascarpone cheese, and some chunks of Belgian chocolate dropped on top, so that they melted at the table. Oh I could eat that forever! I would be very fat, but I would be happy!

We then moved onto a place with live music, and it was great, very jazzy and very laid back. Unfortunately, we were there in time for the last song. The next place wouldn’t let a few of us in because we were wearing flip flops (can you believe it, a place in Australia doesn’t let people in if they’re wearing flip flops?!) We could have accepted this, but while we were standing there, the bouncer let a girl in who was wearing flip flops. So we got separated, but we all met up again across the road from our hostel, at a place that promised the best chips in Oz! Big claim…but they were good!

That was one of the great things about Oz – chips. Well, food in general – being able to get food like what we have back home, as well as having a choice of lots of different cuisines. Ate too much though, so I’m on a starvation diet now!

The night rounded off with Carol trying to get a couple of punky skateboarders to teach her how to board, and after a lot of persuasion, they finally let her have a go. I won’t post the photo here, as the woman herself might find it a tad embarrassing!

The next day – Saturday – we flew back to Sydney, and since the others were still suffering from the night before, it was a quiet night. Plus, we had to rest up for the next day, when we were…

Climbing the Harbour Bridge! More in Part 3 (which I promise will be the last instalment!)



* Much to my disappointment, I have also recently learned that although Bells Beach is featured at the end of Point Break, the scenes were not actually filmed there…kind of takes away from the magic of it…ignorance is bliss!